Even while protesting loudly the envision of cancer cells, it is imperative that one create a sacred place within themselves to reflect, discern, challenge, reject, greave, rage, weep and ultimately meet the antagonist. By no means should this suggestion be taken as resignation or acceptance of the invasive cancer cells, but rather, an acknowledgment of an unwelcome guest in our midst. Only then, in a place of calm can we regain our strength and strategize our next course of action. What we resist persist. Resisting anything not only keeps it present but many make it primary over healing. Meet the opponent just long enough to ask what they want remembering at all times that cancer is NOT personal to any one individual. The wayward cells just want a place to thrive. Dr. Lewis Thomas says ?Disease usually results from inconclusive negotiations for symbiosis, and overstepping of the line by one side or the other, a biologic misinterpretation of borders?. The Lives of a Cell. (Pg.76)
Let the cancer cells know that you bless them on their journey but they are absolutely NOT welcome in your body. A breast cancer diagnoses is not necessarily a death sentence and can truly be an opportunity in disguise in terms of a profound occasion to do soul work. Seek to uncover the soul treasures that will enviably be gained if one has the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Following are some suggestions to forward the journey:
1).What will be the effect of cancer on my Emotional wellbeing?
Journal, Journal, Journal. Find out if you are feeling depressed, rageful, singled out, victimized, self-pitting, sinful, shameful, a burden, unfeminine, mutilated, terrified, unworthy or feeling punished by God. ALL feelings are welcome but they need to be acknowledged and honored. Work with these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs because they comprise the pathways to our soul work.
2).What will the effects of cancer be on my Spiritual Life?
A cancer diagnoses can create a spiritual crisis. Feeling abandoned by God, rejected or even punished. This may evoke anger and/or shake the foundation of a previously strong and unquestionable faith. Listen, I have had to put down a precious 8 month old cat with a cancer tumor. I am certain God was not angry at that cat. Cancer is not personal. One does not get cancer to be taught a lesson or for purposes of punishment. However, now that the challenge has presented itself to deal with, a dark night of the soul, if you will, then use this experience for personal growth. Ask the God of your understanding daily, with grace and dignity, what would you have me learn from this experience? I promise you that your spirit with soar in ways that you could never have imagined. And if you think that I came to this place of wisdom with grace and maturity read on. One day while starting my long standing ritual of vitamin ingestion, I smashed them all over the bathroom counters and onto the floor yelling something very profound like? I have been faithful to you, you little Sob?s, I will never take any of you again so just take that as I proceeded to ground them into my lovely carpet.
3).What will be the effects of cancer on my Physical health?
Exercise no matter what. If this is difficult for you during chemotherapy due to low energy then at the very least get a step meter and increase the amount of your steps every day if only walking around the house or to the mail box and back. Swimming kept my arm from atrophying in a permanent rounded position after the mastectomy. Because of swimming I am left with perfect range of motion. I did this throughout my radiation treatments at a public pool. I never once got sick despite my desperately low white blood count.
4).What will be the effect of cancer on my Body Image?
I bought cute hats, scarves and wigs prior to losing my hair. After the surgery you will have many options for reconstruction or chose not to as I did. Nevertheless, I adore sexy bras and low cut shirts? which I can still wear and which continues to give the appearance of cleavage. Lots and lots of options out there.
5). What will be the effect of cancer on my diet?
There are excellent books that will guide you to a healthier way of eating that feels right to you. One such book is Food as Medicine. (Mary Tagliaferri, M.D. L.A.c.) I have heard it told that cancer cells love fat and sugar. I do know that food is our fuel source so it behooves us to become more conscientious and monitor the quality of that source. However, I am not a doctor so seek out the experts. While working within the medical model of treatment I also sought guidance from a naturopath that supported my treatment with very specific Vitamins.
6).What will be the effect of cancer on my Social Life?
Cancer diagnoses and the protracted treatment process is a vulnerable and tender time. Consider carefully who you chose to walk with you during your treatment process. I struggled with several aggressive people who wanted to make me their project. That did not feel like it was about me but rather about them. Other well meaning people would call sobbing about their fears for me. I often felt that I had to comfort them which was exhausting. I needed every bit of energy for myself. Control your bounders well by saying simply things like ?thanks for calling but I just do not have the energy for talking at this time?. Also, people truly wanted to be giving and some way to help me so I asked for cards in the mail.
7). What will be the effect of cancer on my spare time or Hobbies?
I once attended a conference on neuroscience. The keynote speaker talked about the imperativeness of doing the simple things that we love doing. She emphasized that she was not talking about soul searching, follow your bliss kind of career choices but rather simple things like planting flowers or number painting. Her point was that there are parts of our brain that continue to grow new pathways but will follow the path of depression just as easily as a path of joy. What a wonderful time to put together those old photo albums, stamp collections or sewing projects. I picked up my harmonica again. USE YOUR MIND AND BODY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
8).What will be the effect of cancer on my financial situation?
Do you have insurance, a church group that would be willing to help with finances? Ask for any suggestion from your treatment team as there are some alternative monies available. I was extremely pro-active in all areas of my treatment which tended to be supportive of my mental and emotional well being. Advocate for yourself. Try calling Patient Advocate Foundation, 800-532-5274. This organization serves as an active liaison between patient and insurer, employer, and/or creditors to resolve insurance, job discrimination, and/or debt crisis matters to help patients maintain access to care, etc. It can also help direct you to a case manager for possible financial assistance in your area.
9).What will the effects of cancer be on my Partner, children, extended family?
There are some excellent FREE step by step lititure booklets at cancer centers on how to help family members through your treatment process. Also, ask for help. Find out who would be willing to bring dinner on certain nights, who would be willing to drive you to your treatments and doctor appointments? This is no time for self-indulgent rugged individualism. If asking for help is difficult for you then perhaps that is one of your personal growth areas. This is what I mean by using every emotion and belief that presents itself to you as an opportunity for personal growth.
?20006 Dawn.Novotny. LMSW, MTS, e-mail july4@tenforward.com
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